Why judging your emotions always backfires

One of the best things I have learned is to stop judging my feelings.

I’ll tell you what I mean by that and why it’s really important.

I know I am judging my feelings any time I catch myself saying something like this: I shouldn’t feel this way! – I am such a bad person because I am feeling this. – This feeling means I am weak. – If I feel this way it means I made the wrong decision.

Why is it a problem?

Well first of all, it is a sign that I am identifying with the emotion, believing it’s a permanent quality that characterizes me as a person. This makes it harder to keep the perspective and distance I need to process it. It pushes me to resist and maybe even deny the feeling, because I don’t want to see myself as bad or weak. And if I am not able to consciously process the feeling, it is more likely that I will behave in some way I don’t like.

So instead, now I remind myself that there is no right or wrong way to feel. 

A feeling does not make me good or bad. 

It’s more like a call to pay attention. A guide that leads me to understand my current needs and belief systems.

And from this awareness I can choose to act with intention and power.